i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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