Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
