He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
