we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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