My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
