you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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