Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
