called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
