mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
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