so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
