8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
