i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
