I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
