She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
