I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
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