This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Just pee around me
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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