How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
