would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
He has the fingertips of a God
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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