we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
