Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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