Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
