explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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