I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
