At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
