I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
