i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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