I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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