It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Randomize
