guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
