Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
