You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
