I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
