It's like God shit irony all over that family
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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