Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
