we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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