I think my vagina is haunted
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
