Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
