I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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