I want to make a zoo with you.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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