Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
