this beer tastes like vomit already
love makes seman taste better
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
