their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize