I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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