i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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