Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
He passed out mid-signature
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
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