just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
