need another drink. this is the easiest way
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
they're like a gay fantastic four
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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