We won't sleep together?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize