We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
