Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
