fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
