I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
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