just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
