Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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