I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize