if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
