The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
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