hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
