Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
